If you are getting a divorce as parents, you know it is going to have an impact on your children’s lives. Older children are likely to remember the day they found out their parents’ marriage was ending.
The way they react to that news will, in part, depend on how it is presented to them. As such, here are a few tips that can help you put your children’s best interests first while telling them about the upcoming divorce.
Find the right time
First, try to find the right time, when there are no important events or stressors. It is often best to avoid things like holidays, birthdays, graduations or final exams for high school students. You also want to choose a time when you can have a longer conversation, as the kids may have many questions and deserve to have their voices heard.
Have a family meeting
Next, it is often best to share this news as a family. You and your spouse should do it together. You also want to gather all of your children, if you have multiple kids, to make sure everyone finds out together and at the same time.
Do not blame each other
Finally, try to focus on your children and putting them first, rather than blaming each other for the divorce. Even if you do blame your spouse, that likely does not need to be part of this initial conversation. You should not make the children feel like they have to pick sides. Instead, focus on presenting the information and answering their questions.
Of course, this is just the first step in the divorce process, which can be very complicated when children are involved. Be sure you understand all of your legal options.